Tuesday, November 06, 2001
You know what i hate. School
School has fucked up my life. Now i don't mean to go on a Rant here but.....
.
I am not a stupid Kid. I do not do good in school though. Right now i am failing 3 of my classes (well, 2 for sure, 1 failing maybe) and report cards come out in about a week. What made me start to think about this is that my dad just said to me "You better, or i will kick your ass". This was right after him asking me if i had any homework that i didn't do cuz i go out every night. What is weird is that the only time i feel bad about my marks in school, is when i think of my parents finding out. But right now i feel bad because i know if i don't do good in school now, the "rest of my life" will be fucked up and i will "never amount to anything" But really, do i want to? Is it such a bad thing that i won't do good in life? That is what really gets to me. I can't decide. My whole family is successful, and they have very high expectations of me. Everyone does, and i hate it.
I am failing my courses, not because i don't comprehend the work, but because i don't do it. I don't know why i don't, i just don't! And i can't figure out why. It has been like this for a while. All last year, i was getting about 10-20% lower in all my classes due to me not doing the homework and not doing class work. This year, me having a social life removes more time to do the homework, so i am now getting 30-50% lower than what i should be. Now i think i come accross to my teachers and peers as a dumb person, and that bugs me too.
Well i just ran into a creative dead end. those are all the thoughts that i can prosess into text right now. I can't think of anything else to write out.
Oh, here is something. I can never be happy. The Kim problem is overwith for now (well, over enough) and that is all peachy, so i have to go on to my next problem. I have many, and i always have one. If i ever get this school thing fixed, then i will be complianing about Money, or maybe even kim again.
God damn, i will leave you with a little poem i wrote.
"why does this world have to be so fucked up?
why do the people in this world have to be so fucked up?
why does my life have to be so fucked up?"
That could be a chorus to a song or something.
Well i am off.
bye.
P.S. The movie me and Kim saw was good. I really love kim. I can admit it to the world. Kim, You are the greatest.
------m00------
:: posted by Sharp, 10:59 PM